Today, I got to thinking about what makes a really great conversationalist.
While walking with my neighbour, probably one of the people in my personal life who I talk to the most, we came up with this quick, mini-list. I don't think it would get full marks if, um, graded by a great conversationalist. But it's a start.
Great conversationalists take interest in the other person (or people). They ask questions, and hopefully ones that make the other person pause and carefully consider their answer. You know, a little food for thought. It helps to know a lot about various subjects, and to share information in an interesting, witty and memorable way. I think the best conversationalists leave you thinking about topics in a new, inspirational kind of way.
One of my old flings was especially good at this. And it's funny, I didn't realize it at the time. Another person had to point it out, and I think that, post-relationship, I started to miss something that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Or maybe it was just stuck to the roof of my mouth. So now, a couple of years later, I'm looking for ways to bring back not him, but the elements of various relationships that I especially enjoyed.
And, for now, it's something to blog about.
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2 comments:
I think you are right. Like, a lot of people have a lot of things to say, even interesting things, but if they don't really care who's listening to them, then it's not really a conversation. And making people think rocks...which is why mindless small talk suck.
I was talking to a friend of mine and he likened it to playing tennis. You need to put the ball back in the other person's court. But then my neighbour and I were like, we probably need to make it clear that it's a rally, and not a match. ;)
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