Sunday, December 28, 2008

one long day...


... that's kind of what the holidays feel like. I've been dunking more homemade biscottis than I'd care to admit. The kettle and coffee pot are scoring special attention. And the effects of festive food and drink make me feel like I'm expecting (which, fyi, is impossible unless there's another xmas miracle)
***
listening to CBC radio 3 because my playlists calm me. spent an hour on the treadmill while watching Knocked Up (how appropriate) on satellite. Spent too many hours browsing the Internet and not really learning much at all. Finished The Bro Code. Should really finish (start) writing my 200 words of the week.

xo.

Monday, December 22, 2008

14 hours


to pack, sleep, clean and proof a week's worth of e-mails.
eeek!
oops.
woo!

Hey Ocean! "Humaita"
Castlemusic "We Always Change"
Brasstronaut "Requiem for a Scene"
Coeur de Pirate "Comme des enfants"
Gentlemen Reg "You Can't Get It Back"

(repeat)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

from 303 to 301

I love when people make casual comments that leave lasting impressions.

My favourite?

"Lori, you gotta look out for No. 1...

... that's YOU!"

It's quite a basic way to think about things, but it's so important. There was a time when I was ignorant or simpled ignored what was best for myself and my sanity. And while that's not a time I'd like to relive, I feel like I gained a greater sense of self, and I can look at other situations with so much more clarity because of it.

The hardest part is watching friends deal with the unfriendly bits of life, and while I'd like them to take the quickest, most effective escape routes, that's often not the case. But then part of me wonders if I'm developing this no-second-chances, cynical, get-out-before-you-get-hurt kind of mindset.

I just think it's the safest way to look out for this No. 1, y'know?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

will it heal you or hurt you?

I picked up what might be the last Wish magazine, partly because the New Year's headlines pulled me in, and partly because I felt sorry for the now-defunct glossy magazine.

So, either in remembrance of the publication or in honour of my aim to be better/stronger (than yesterday?), I will apply a lesson from the 'Mind Over Matter' piece to my life... or at least to my day.

It tells me that 'happiness ain't easy' ... and though I have been happy as of late, someone still called me a cynic at a holiday party. Why should I be cynical at a party? What happened to the bright-eyed, happy-go-lucky girl that most other people see?

This article aims to 'weed out negativity in everyday decisions' and will encourage me to make decisions that are good for me. In order to do this, I need to take 100% responsibility for the failures and the fabulousness in my life (those are Wish's f-words, FYI).

So I need to start asking myself, in my daily conversations, relationships, eating patterns, etc., 'Is this healing me or hurting me?'

Right now I am sitting in my PJs on my couch at 1:30 p.m. I have been thinking about making coffee, eggs and toast for a couple of hours. I have been glancing at my half un-packed suitcase from last weekend's lift in NYC. I know I need to mail letters and subscriptions, need to write a couple of stories and must-must-must organize my clothes. But I am listening to Radio 3, g-chatting, writing this and feeling guilty.

Maybe it's time to heal, girl.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

decemblah

No one guessed my lie today. Maybe I should consider a career in crime.

People talk about the November blahs, but I very much enjoyed last month. It's this month that's wearing at my soul, my bones and my sanity. I'm following orders and eating steak, but my energy level is still so low that I've spent far too many hours on the couch watching CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds and more uplifting programs.

I'm alone in my apartment and I just heard a sound and it's creeping me out. : (

Good night.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

tea & tulips

I have to come up with two truths and a lie for a work-related icebreaker tomorrow morning. Fun, maybe? Hard, yes? Why? I have one of each nailed down, and thinking about the second truth is difficult. Maybe I should have done a few more wild things in my youth? Anyways, I'll give a sampling of truths and lies of recent lori thoughts and events:

1. I think this song is super catchy.
2. I would never date someone shorter than I am.
3. There is a new infomercial selling an Obama Chia Pet.
4. I have the most supportive, brilliant and interesting friends.
5. My horoscope accurately predicted that I would make a mistake at work.
6. People think that I think board games are more important than brain surgeons.
7. I have a crush on a serial killer. His name is Dexter. Maybe you've heard of him.
8. My doctor's prescription included buying a George Foreman grill and eating steak every seven to 10 days.

I was tired two hours ago. Why am I still awake?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Set it up

There has been a common theme running through the last week of my life. Here are a few things that come to mind:

1. My friend messages me to tell me about her dream. Apparently, we meet up and I have a 'significant other' with me -- and he's cute! And then she tells me about another dream in which I have a Polish fiance whose last name starts with the letter K. She also tells me that her dreams always come true.*

2. My sister e-mails me to tell me that she thought she found the perfect guy for me. The only commonality she included in her message was that he worked in media (my guess is that he was/is also funny). Anyways, she just said, if only you could get over your height complex it could work. But then she added that she looked at his hand and saw that he was married.**

3. My coworker who I didn't think loved me all that much spoke to me at our holiday party avec her petit ami. She told me that when I started I was so quiet that she wondered why our company would hire someone like me. I guess she maybe changed her mind, because then she talked about how she wanted to set me up with her boyfriend's brother because we would be just perfect for each other.***

4. Today in the dealer's car (as in the car dealership drive-me-home-while-you-fix-my-car program), the guy next to me asked if he could ask for my opinion on something. Interestingly enough, it involved an ad campaign directed at my demographic and he wanted feedback regarding his design. I don't know how much I liked the ad's concept, which maybe wasn't his fault. Anyways, this turned into a getting-to-know-you-until-we-eventually-part conversation.****

There are a couple other instances that follow this same thread (all within the last week) but I need to start writing for money now (and this post already has more stars than the American flag).*****

* This is the same friend who, in grade school, dreamt that she was kidnapped by a wolf and had to marry him.
** She did end her message by saying "And that's my useless story for the day."
*** Her boyfriend tried to get a few words in that sounded something like "I don't know how available he is these days..."
**** He might have blushed when I told him that, funnily enough, I'm employed as a copywriter.
***** Cross your fingers and hope that I'm inspired today. Oh, and thanks for reading. : )