Lessons learned, maybe

I know what happens when a place is in a state of disarray and the mind is moving slowly due to lack of sleep. You can see it on my arm, in the form of an unsightly burn that's beginning to blister.

I put a frozen pack of blueberries on it to help my poor skin out, and then I started to bleed. It was just a little bit, so I wasn't terribly worried. But then it started to GUSH. And I became concerned... until I was able to put the pieces together and realized that the pack of blueberries was leaking. Oh, dear Lori, you're so very tired.

You'd think this slowness would have carried on into my work day, but I was actually told I was "on fire" (and they didn't even know about the burn!). Also, then there was more good news.

But I'm still tired, so good night. xo.

If you always wake up late...

you'll never be on time. Oh, BSS is so wonderfully wise.

You'd think this would be a lesson easy enough for a four year-old to master. And here I am, at the age of 26, trying to trick myself into believing that if I stay up until 1 a.m. I'll still be smart and bubbly in the morning. Logic will most definitely break my heart. This is an ode to indie bands, apparently.

I finally realized I'm losing a bit of control. Well, the state of my apartment has been saying so for the past couple of weeks. But you wanna know the clincher? My pretend bar contains a mere two bottles of wine. What is that? And I tried both tonight. One was too sweet; the other, too bitter. I need to start tracking my wines to avoid such great disappointment.

Note: This is the first night that I've blogged and not jogged. Can you tell the endorphins were missing?

It must have been something

It's on my mind. I don't know why.
I cry sometimes. But I don't miss you.

Watching films about relationships is emo-exhausting. Especially when you're not in one (or just missed one). That's when you're forced to remember a disappointment or three, and mourn the loss just one more time. Maybe that's why when I'm without a living, breathing date, I pair my romantic films with wine. And it only takes two glasses before I spill a few woes.

But wait a second. I'm spoiling this blog within three posts by sounding like a 16-year-old girl, ready to spin Tori Amos. I should write about endorphins again! And how they make you feel like singing in the springtime, winter, summer, fall.

Tonight's lesson: The quickest way to crush little endorphin spirits is to watch an Edward Burns' film. (But it won't crush your crush on him.)

Crying in public

In the most public of places, in fact. Where are there more people than the Times Square of Toronto? We had to sit on the probably dirty ground for a while, but then the four-year-old drinking the Starbucks Frappuccino got tired and made his mom leave the romantic reel. So we scored seats. Sometimes, everything works out.

Even though my legs were still sore I ran again today. And I thought a little bit more about what I'm doing and where I'm going, even though so many people say that running is just "wandering aimlessly." (I think that is redundant.) Well, that's kind of what I'm doing, except that in the back of my mind I have a pretty good idea that I probably need to make a few changes. But I don't need to rush. At least that's what I'm telling myself. And, really, who matters more in my life than I?

I am listening to New Buffalo, I've Got You and You've Got Me. It's quite pretty. I'm so very tempted to type out some lyrics, but I don't think I'll do it. Instead, I'll tell you about how I read a passage of Norwegian Wood to my friend while crossing the street today. He was worried about my safety; I was worried he wasn't paying close enough attention to Murakami's words:

"... he had a rare talent for finding the interesting parts of someone's generally uninteresting comments so that, when speaking to him, you felt that you were an exceptionally interesting person with an exceptionally interesting life."

Maybe I'll meet another person like this. Or maybe I'll just try to be that person.

Endorphins really do make you happy

The worst part about last night was waking up this morning. That's when I felt the not-so-pleasant effects of mixing wine, champagne, cupcakes and dancing.

So after a catch-up brunch with my belle amie and a solo stroll through the city, I decided to punish myself for last night's indulgence. I found some shorts, a T-shirt and my terribly old-school runners and spent 30 minutes doing the run/walk blend. You should know that this is a really big deal because running is really hard. For me. Maybe not for you and that's totally cool. In that case, I'm proud of you. Maybe you could be my coach.

But do you know what happened after my run? I felt better than when the alcohol and sugar were fresh in my system. Nice, eh? And then I decided to create a blog to remember that these little endorphin guys won't let me down. Oh, and my friends won't let me down either. The title of my blog is a text shout-out to one of my nearest and dearest. But I love them all equally. Cross my heart.

hello and xo.