Writing at length with many digressions

I'm annoyed with myself for blogging about boys so much. Or the lack of boys. Well, you know what? I was pretty happy when my last near-relationship didn't work out because it gave me a chance to continue to focus on all the things I wanted to do, but maybe wouldn't if I was suddenly distracted by a love affair (Wow, how lame does that sound? But really, I know I'm emotional and romantic and all that jazz and that's just what happens with me. Well, it was what happened with me. The goal is to change a bit for next time, or at least ensure I have a better sense of self, which I think I do now, but whatever, I've typed more than my parentheses expected).

Anyways, I was a bit frustrated because I have not been doing all of the things I said I wanted to do. And now the only person I have to blame is myself. So now not only am I not doing the things I wanted to do, but I'm also mad at, well, me. Hmm.

So my biggest problem is figuring out what I want to do (1), and where I want to live (2).

1. Work is going well in the way that they really want to keep me on (I signed a three-month contract), and are working on moulding the "lori" position. So basically I was given the chance to list all of the things I enjoyed doing, and all of the things I didn't, and they would craft the position to suit my interests. Awesome, right? Except for some reason, it wasn't. But I should stop typing about work because I actually haven't signed anything else yet...

2. Part of me still feels like a small-town girl in the big city, and I wonder if I'll ever shake this feeling. I just don't know if I'll ever be put-together enough to feel completely comfortable here. Or maybe I just need to spend time in different areas of the city. Either that, or spend more time shopping for clothes that make me feel like I fit in. Anyways, whenever I visit home, I feel like a big-city girl in a small town. So what's a small-town big-city girl to do? I have a few ideas but I don't know if they'll come to fruition...