a great friend

didn't anybody tell you, didn't anybody tell you how to gracefully disappear in a room?

at this point in my life, i rarely have the feeling of absolutely needing someone. but it's been confirmed that if and when i do, someone will be there. nothing could make me feel so lucky, thankful or relieved.

didn't anybody tell you, didn't anybody tell you this river's full of lost sharks?

sigh, and be down with the butterfly

all this worrying for no reason / and this wasted time and all this hurrying... for no reason

highlights & lowlights / november 23, 2008:

cheap high: reading my horizontal life
immediate side-effect: it made me crave a one-night stand
overall lesson learned: even chelsea wants to live happily ever after

lowest low: screening phone calls. even from my mom. especially from my mom.
immediate side-effect: she's pissed. i feel guilty, irresponsible, like a bad daughter, etc., etc.
overall lesson learned: don't give your mom life updates, and she won't have reason to hound you about what you've accomplished

other lows: skipping drinks, skipping dinner, skipping out on organizing my closet two hours too soon
other highs: reading in bed, writing in bed, drinking tea in bed, eating chocolate chips in bed

i need one more day before it starts all over again.

happy-not-lucky?

It's hard to know what to do because your natural rhythm may be disrupted by something that is totally out of your control. Fortunately, your positive attitude can help, but you'll need to be willing to settle on less comfort than you prefer normally. Keep in mind that whatever happens today is part of a larger shift that can take months to process.

So I know it's hard to care about someone else's horoscope (I'm a Cancer, in case you are too and can enjoy yours for the day), but I wanted to remember this one because it is bang bang bang on.... save for the fact that I don't know what happened today that's going to take months to process. Maybe I don't want to.

But I do know that I woke up disappointed today. And I was trying to regain my energy and I know it's up to me and only me to do this... so I went for a run. But instead of enjoying all the endorphins, I suffered burning ears from the cold. And then I went for a facial for full relaxation, and now my skin's reacting to the treatment. But THEN I had a really amazing dinner and, well, there was no bad reaction to that (except my tummy is sooo full of goodness).

Anyways, I'm sitting in this place where I'm not sure if I should keep trying trying trying and deal with the mood-altering consequences, or if it's easier to just sit back, relax and secretly hope it all works out.

Incalculable sadness (and drama)

This is how I feel.

Do you think I can run away for a year or so?

The Internet says hair grows a mere 0.5 inches per month.

Shiza. Mani. Lola.

I don't know how to act my age

Never, ever cheat -- especially when it comes to your hairdresser.

I took a spontaneous trip into a new stylist's chair today in hopes of easing the short-to-long transition (I finally committed to returning to the Lori-with-long-hair). And then he did something horrible. And then he made it worse. And then I almost cried in the chair! Like a little princess -- no joke. Sigh.

I can't see my real hairdresser until Tuesday, at which time I'll beg for his forgiveness and see if he can make something, anything work.

This also means Lori-with-long-hair will have to wait. Maybe it just wasn't her time yet. Or maybe karma's killing me this week.

It must have been something

It's on my mind. I don't know why.
I cry sometimes. But I don't miss you.

Watching films about relationships is emo-exhausting. Especially when you're not in one (or just missed one). That's when you're forced to remember a disappointment or three, and mourn the loss just one more time. Maybe that's why when I'm without a living, breathing date, I pair my romantic films with wine. And it only takes two glasses before I spill a few woes.

But wait a second. I'm spoiling this blog within three posts by sounding like a 16-year-old girl, ready to spin Tori Amos. I should write about endorphins again! And how they make you feel like singing in the springtime, winter, summer, fall.

Tonight's lesson: The quickest way to crush little endorphin spirits is to watch an Edward Burns' film. (But it won't crush your crush on him.)