sigh, and be down with the butterfly

all this worrying for no reason / and this wasted time and all this hurrying... for no reason

highlights & lowlights / november 23, 2008:

cheap high: reading my horizontal life
immediate side-effect: it made me crave a one-night stand
overall lesson learned: even chelsea wants to live happily ever after

lowest low: screening phone calls. even from my mom. especially from my mom.
immediate side-effect: she's pissed. i feel guilty, irresponsible, like a bad daughter, etc., etc.
overall lesson learned: don't give your mom life updates, and she won't have reason to hound you about what you've accomplished

other lows: skipping drinks, skipping dinner, skipping out on organizing my closet two hours too soon
other highs: reading in bed, writing in bed, drinking tea in bed, eating chocolate chips in bed

i need one more day before it starts all over again.

pretty depressing or just plain pretty?

when i'm dead
is when i'll be free
so you can take my body
put it in a boat
light it on fire
send it out to sea
yeah, yeah, yeah

"willow tree" by chad vangaleen is so pretty, isn't it? you should listen to it on radio3.cbc.ca (my daily soundtrack). i know it sounds depressing and all that jazz (note: i don't mean it sounds like jazz. it doesn't. at all), but it's so perfect in this sad and wonderful way. go listen if you can... wow, they're playing all my favourites now. i also love "curse of the currents" by said the whale. go listen to it if you have time. oh! listen to "run from safety" by octoberman too!

no caps lock key tonight. did you know caps lock is two words? that's what my key board says (ha. i accidentally typed that as two words but i'll leave it because it's funny... to me). anyways, no caps lock key because i was hard at work all day (!) on a project for my boss. i hope she doesn't think it sucks, but there's only so much this girl can give, maybe.

ok. i hope you love snow and are making angels or at least behaving like the good little angel i know you can be.

wishing you the best of dreams and thursday morning smiles. <3

she gave up raisins for Lent

*
1. I have a huge project due Thursday morning and I'm more than a little nervous about it. This feels like university, but I don't think anyone will pull an all-nighter with me, and meet me on the main floor for a 4 a.m. melted cheese and Triscuits treat.

2. We discussed my inability to deny myself life's pleasures, to show signs of self-restraint and to delay instant gratification. This made me say that I'd give up chain food restaurants for TK amount of time. When she asked where I'd get my morning (and afternoon) cup of coffee, I said, Second Cup?

3. Maybe this is the happiest I've ever been in life. Just maybe.

P.S. Wish me luck on my write-up. Or at least think it. And if you are actually wishing that I fail, stop reading my blog, eh?

<3 loves.

life or something like it

I'm breaking my own blog rules. Crazy! I am typing in Georgia instead of the typical Trebuchet. How wild and free of me. Did you know that Georgia and I go way back? When I applied for a job at Scholastic, I chose that font for my cover letter and it happened to be my supervisor's favourite font (she also enjoyed the pink paper that framed my application). In my working world, it's always a good idea to include things that are pink, pretty and a little bit creative.

When I opened this window I didn't mean to type any of the above words. I wanted to write about how proud I am of myself for eating so many vegetables for dinner (so many vegetables that only cost $3.48 at the store down the street!). Asparagus. Broccoli. Sweet Potatoes. Yum yum yum. Those are some good-looking greens (and oranges!). I feel so good I don't even want to uncork the bottle of wine ($14.95!) that I also brought home. AND I felt so good that I wrote my weekly freelance piece THREE DAYS EARLY. This never happens.

I am almost inspired to tackle the mess that is my wardrobe... this is inspiration that is carried over from yesterday when I watched Oprah, which was all about decluttering your space and how the way you treat your home is a reflection of the way you treat yourself and YOUR LIFE. Wow, veggies give me so much energy that I feel inclined to turn on the capslock.

This is such a diary entry. Ha. There's so much positivity in this post that I don't even want to complain about the complaint I had. But if I just can't keep it bottled in, maybe I'll log on late in the night and write an angsty entry about all that is wrong in the world (which won't include vegetables, local vendors or pink&pretty things).

xo. c'est tout. <3

the cupcake fairy

Dinner was supposed to be at my house tonight. Then it became snacks. Then it became cupcakes. Then it became just me!

So what's a girl to do with 12 full-size cupcakes and 24 mini ones?

She makes friends with her neighbours. And now she's gonna score some cookies later this week. Not a bad trade at all. : )

Today's lesson: It's never a bad idea to make too many sweet treats. (And you should probably go to bed before the sugar crash hits.)

happy-not-lucky?

It's hard to know what to do because your natural rhythm may be disrupted by something that is totally out of your control. Fortunately, your positive attitude can help, but you'll need to be willing to settle on less comfort than you prefer normally. Keep in mind that whatever happens today is part of a larger shift that can take months to process.

So I know it's hard to care about someone else's horoscope (I'm a Cancer, in case you are too and can enjoy yours for the day), but I wanted to remember this one because it is bang bang bang on.... save for the fact that I don't know what happened today that's going to take months to process. Maybe I don't want to.

But I do know that I woke up disappointed today. And I was trying to regain my energy and I know it's up to me and only me to do this... so I went for a run. But instead of enjoying all the endorphins, I suffered burning ears from the cold. And then I went for a facial for full relaxation, and now my skin's reacting to the treatment. But THEN I had a really amazing dinner and, well, there was no bad reaction to that (except my tummy is sooo full of goodness).

Anyways, I'm sitting in this place where I'm not sure if I should keep trying trying trying and deal with the mood-altering consequences, or if it's easier to just sit back, relax and secretly hope it all works out.